I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
Randomize
