Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
