I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
Randomize
