no you cant smoke seaweed
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
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