You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
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