On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
Randomize
