He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
