these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Randomize
