and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
You need a sexual gate keeper
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Randomize
