So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
Randomize
