Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
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