my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
Randomize