the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
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