I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
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