just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
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