You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
Randomize
