my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
