So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
Randomize
