So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Randomize
