Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
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