Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
Randomize
