I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize
