doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
Do you know how when animals have surgery they put those cones around their heads so they can't lick their wounds so they can heal? I think someone should invent that for human emotions.
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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