you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
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