Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
Randomize
