How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
Randomize
