Is it normal to miss your booty call?
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
Randomize
