WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Randomize
