someone threw a dead crab at me
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
Randomize
