is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
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