You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
Randomize
