On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
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