you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Randomize
