The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
im holly from the hills drunk
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
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