i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
Randomize
