he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
