I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
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