i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
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