But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
Randomize
