just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
