Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Randomize
