Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
he just fucked me for my cheese.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Randomize