I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
Randomize
