i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
sex in a hospital.. check
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Randomize
