I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
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