so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize