My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
