I'm at some bar in brklyn... just made out with a guy named Owen.
He is a pre-school teacher... just sang me a song about weather.
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
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