Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
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