Dual....:-)
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
Randomize