I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
Randomize
