it wasn't lemon gatorade
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Randomize
