did you get engaged???
Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
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