Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
I like to think it a success when the cops are called
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
Randomize
