Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
Randomize
