Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
Randomize
