she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
Randomize
