32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
Randomize
