We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Randomize
