I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
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