Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
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