so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Randomize
