I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Randomize
