The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
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