he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize