Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
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